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Sunday, April 8, 2012

Scary wisdom removal

I'm still in Scotland, in the countryside, and the weather? Dunno. Haven't been outside.
Yesterday was exciting though. I had my first ever operation! I know lots of people have lots of operations but I never do, I'm more an unusual illness than a broken bones kind of girl. This dreaded first time surgery was to get my wisdom teeth out. When I was telling people they'd say "oh that's fine, I had one out it was nothing, which one are you getting out?" and when I'd reply with ALL FOUR they'd just kind of say "oh."

So I was a bit nervous going to the local hospital, with my old dressing gown and borrowed slippers. My sister's boyfriend helpfully told me that his friend had her wisdom teeth out and she came out with bruises on her collarbone where they'd been kneeling on her while someone else was holding her forehead down.
Then at the hospital they told me The Risks, stuff like intense pain and losing feeling in your mouth. ("Most of the time it's temporary so don't worry.")
Surprisingly, when when they took my blood pressure and temperature they were both a bit high so I had to go sit in a cool room to calm down... IF SOMEONE SITS ON MY COLLARBONE I'LL BREAK!!

Anyway I must have managed to lower my temperature enough because next thing I was putting on a funny gown (very modest and no bum on show, contrary to expectations) and then walking into theatre. It was pretty scary, walking into a big room with one bed in the middle and tools around about, and lots of people looking at you in expectation. I get nervous giggles, always have, so must have looked absolutely mental. So I got on the bed, and they did blood pressure on my one arm while they started to stick a big needle into the other hand, chatting away about Spain and studying art to try and distract and presumably calm me. They were doing a good job, I was starting on a run down of my complaints about art school when the anaesthetist said 'nope, that's not working, that's just not working!'
Personally I think he could have just signalled to the others or something, been a bit more subtle.

So suddenly they all swapped sides and stuck the needle into my other hand, and pretty soon after I felt a bit weird like I might faint, and I thought 'I wonder if I should tell them', then realised 'that's probably meant to happen', but I was waiting for them to tell me to count from ten to zero but then I was asleep. Then I woke up with tears in my eyes and I'd obviously been having bad dreams, which was a bit disappointing after people telling my I'd be nicely high when I woke up. After a while they gave me some jelly and ice cream which I struggled to get past my huge lips, which it turned out were normal size and they just felt huge because of the drugs. Weird. I appreciate this story isn't very interesting but really I haven't got much else to do, I'm on the sofa, I've watched Green Wing, The Thick Of It, Britain: A Natural History with Alan Titchmarsh and Charlie and Lola, I've eaten petit filous, jelly, ice cream, mashed potatoes, tomato soup and drank chocolate nesquick and warm tea and taken my medicines. I'm hungry but feel dangerously full of dairy, and feel my eyes might actually turn square. So I shall tell you my stories. But right now I think I'll take some paracetamol and watch Neighbours for the second time today.

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